THE CHURCH OF FACEBOOK: The Book, the Blog, and the Man Behind Both

RESOURCE WEEK: Seth Godin’s Blog and Free E-Book!

February 1, 2010 · Leave a Comment

This is “Resource Week” here at The Church of Facebook blog. As such, you will find daily postings of helpful resources that can help you – like me – try to figure out the most life-giving ways to integrate your online and offline worlds.

Seth Godin is up first.  And once again, Godin puts truth into a tasty and easily-digestible (but very potent) little treat.  Take a quick read through his blogged thoughts below and see if you spot your reflection.  I did.

Beyond that, stay tuned for some more great resources to come this week!

MODERN PROCRASTINATION by Seth Godin (Feb. 1, 2010)

The lizard brain adores a deadline that slips, an item that doesn’t ship and most of all, busywork.

These represent safety, because if you don’t challenge the status quo, you can’t be made fun of, can’t fail, can’t be laughed at. And so the resistance looks for ways to appear busy while not actually doing anything.

I’d like to posit that for idea workers, misusing Twitter, Facebook and various forms of digital networking are the ultimate expression of procrastination. You can be busy, very busy, forever. The more you do, the longer the queue gets. The bigger your circle, the more connections are available.

Laziness in a white collar job has nothing to do with avoiding hard physical labor. “Who wants to help me move this box!” Instead, it has to do with avoiding difficult (and apparently risky) intellectual labor.

“Honey, how was your day?”

“Oh, I was busy, incredibly busy.”

“I get that you were busy. But did you do anything important?”

Busy does not equal important. Measured doesn’t mean mattered.

When the resistance pushes you to do the quick reaction, the instant message, the ‘ping-are-you-still-there’, perhaps it pays to push in precisely the opposite direction. Perhaps it’s time for the blank sheet of paper, the cancellation of a long-time money loser, the difficult conversation, the creative breakthrough…

Or you could check your email.

(Download Seth’s latest FREE E-BOOK “What Matters Now” right HERE – very inspiring stuff!)

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Of Hats and Scarves

January 26, 2010 · 6 Comments

The following video could change your life.  But chances are slim.  (It’s safe for work!)

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A Glimpse of Hope From Haiti

January 22, 2010 · 2 Comments

Matthew McDermott captured this incredible glimpse of hope as Kiki is pulled out from under a collapsed building where he had been trapped for eight days.

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“Religious Self-Profiling”

January 21, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Special thanks to Sarah Pulliam Bailey and the conversation we had at the Pittsburgh Int’l airport on my ancient Nokia that turned into this article for Christianity Today.

Read the article HERE!

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Do You Possess Royal DNA?

January 20, 2010 · 2 Comments

In the strange realm of cyberspace, Content is king.

If you have Good Content, it will rise to the top like the bubbles in your Black Butte Porter.  You will find your blog hits climbing, your “friends” lists growing, and your Google self-search taking up more pages.  Good Content is that stuff we recognize immediately because it moves us to our guts.

If you have Mediocre or Downright Bad Content…

Well, cyberspace is mostly saturated with our collective crap, and you will be in very good company.

You’ll find plenty of Mediocre or even Downright Bad Content on this blog, too, I’m afraid.  That’s partly to do with the fact that it is very hard to be more than mediocre.  It takes time.  It is very non-sexy.  You won’t find it on YouTube because it is boring to watch.

Good Content, meanwhile, is the result of a wholehearted commitment to doing our best at what is right in front of us, however impressive or unimpressive that may be to our audiences-at-large.  (There is at least one person in that audience who will get it, though – I guarantee).

And besides, I’d much rather reply “maybe” to the Evite and keep my options open than commit.  I’d rather start a series of new projects than go through the grey uncertainty required to see one to completion.  I’d rather get a blog post out there quickly than think too much about it.  Mediocre has a certain charm, especially when I’m tired or overcommitted or have forgotten what matters most in my life.

I suppose that’s why Content is king in cyberspace.  Good Content, at least.  Because wholeheartedness carries royal DNA in its blood.

So go and be kingly and queenly today, giving your whole heart to that thing that moves you in your guts.

(photo credit: Gary S Chapman for Imagebank)

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Jesus As Dance Instructor

January 19, 2010 · 2 Comments

“Are you tired? Worn out?  Burned out on religion?  Come to me.  Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  –Jesus, from Matthew 11:28-30, as paraphrased by Eugene Peterson in The Message.

(photo credit: Camille Tokerud)

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Inspiration For Your Weekend

January 15, 2010 · 2 Comments

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“There Is No Me Without You”

January 15, 2010 · Leave a Comment

If this week’s blog posts had a theme, it would be, “Wholeheartedness is the only appropriate response to minds, hearts, and bodies that are often fractured by hyperconnection and hyperdistraction.”  Ask any sane doctor, therapist, pastor, life coach, spiritual guide, or person you trust, and they will tell you the same.

More than that, wholeheartedness is the only appropriate response to that portion of 24 hours in which we are awake.  It’s not a self-improvement technique, as if any of us needed more of those.  It is an only-way-to-live choice, one of countless others made moment by moment, day after day, and usually in the least sexy of circumstances (changing diapers, commuting to work, during a staff meeting, taking out the trash).

Easy to blog about.  Very, very difficult to live.  I need help in my steps toward wholeheartedness.

This weekend, I am headed back to Cannon Beach, OR, for yet another retreat.  I’m not speaking at this one; I’m a civilian like the rest of the dudes.  I will tell you honestly that I feel more comfortable with a role – especially a very visible role – than I do being “one of the guys.”  I dread sharing a room with a complete stranger who likely snores (the speaker gets their own room).  I dread all those get-to-know-you conversations (the speaker is sought after to answer the difficult questions of life).  I dread the mornings, having to face my fellow men before coffee, before showering, before my hair product has time to ripen into perfect waves and spikes.

But for all I dread, I’m going because, if it’s one thing that has become even more clear since moving to a brand new town and starting over with life, it’s that I need others.  Why?

Because I cannot live a wholehearted life without others.

That sucks, because I’d prefer to be a self-contained, self-reliant Lone Ranger.  But even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.  And Silver, the horse.  (And that nifty black mask and grey outfit that reminds me a bit of Liberace – an image which now makes me rethink the Lone Ranger’s motivations for all those lonely nights on the prairie with Tonto).

The point is, wholeheartedness – that appropriate response to the hours we’ve been given on this planet – can only be experienced in companionship with others.  It can only result from entering into the messiness of human relationships and wrestling to find common language and common ground.  It has to embrace the snoring stranger, the pre-caffeinated conversations, and the start-from-scratch friendships.  It has to embrace the need for others.

“There is no me without you,” wrote Melissa Faye Green.  And her story of serving AIDS-ravaged children testifies eloquently to our shared need for one another in the  pursuit of wholeheartedness.

With her words ringing in my ear, I go now to pack my toothbrush, ear plugs and hair product.  Have a wonderful, wholehearted weekend.

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Wholeheartedness and How To Get It

January 14, 2010 · 1 Comment

On Tuesday, I wrote about how I felt our hard work in balancing life’s responsibilities was “an attempt to answer the question that only wholeheartedness can resolve.”  In other words, balance is not the answer.  Wholeheartedness is.  While that’s the kind of soundbite that could get me on Oprah (my time is running out!), I admit it’s only a very shallow dip with a pinkie toe into the deep, swirling waters of real life.  (That’s another nice soundbite, actually).

So, with the aim of at least getting an entire foot in, here are some initial thoughts about wholeheartedness and how we can get it:

Wholeheartedness is only available to us in the present moment. It is not “out there” somewhere down the line or in some other context.  We can only access it in the “right here, right now.”

Wholeheartedness, then, requires us turning our fullest attention to the present moment. I don’t mean in some New Age-y, stop-everything-you’re-doing sort of way and consider how you can become enlightened (on second thought, that may not be such a bad idea).  I mean simply choosing to draw your attention to what’s happening right in this particular moment.

For example, I was doing some reading this morning.  As I did, my brain started riffing on what I could blog about that could hopefully attract some more hits.  Silly brain.  I’m convinced my brain is a zit-faced high school freshman eating lunch by himself in the quad, dreaming of popularity.  But I caught myself thinking this, smiled, paused, and looked up from my book.  The sun was shining through the window.  This is no small thing here in Portland where the sun is shier than a snow leopard (nice).   And so, pausing to to take in the sun and remember that I am right here and right now, sitting in my living room with a cup of coffee, the sun giving my toes a white-hot pedicure (not all of these soundbites are Oprah-worthy), I found myself in the moment.  All of me right then and there.  I felt solid again, not worried about what others think of me, not worried about what the day held.  Not mindless, either, but rather, mind-full, aware and alert to the present moment, which is always the doorway to wholeheartedness.

Wholeheartedness requires practice.  It is very difficult to be present to the here and now in a hyperconnected, Facebooked, Twitterized culture.  It no longer comes naturally (if it ever did).  And so, like anything worthy of our time and talent, we have to practice.  We have to start somewhere and take a step forward, then another.

We have forgotten how to live in the present and mostly we have not been given permission.  But here is your “permission to be present” card.  Use it wisely.

Take a moment – maybe even at the end of reading this blog – and pause.  What are you feeling?  Anxious?  Excited?  Sad?  Happy?  Where are your thoughts?  Are they on the next item of your to-do list?  Do they seem be swinging around like a bunch of over-caffeinated monkeys?  Pause and give thanks for one thing.  Take a deep, long breath and exhale slowly.  Listen for the sounds around you, the sights.  What does it feel like to be present to this particular moment?

We’re going to continue this exploration into wholeheartedness tomorrow.  But I have to go now…the phone just rang and I think it’s Oprah.

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“Balance” is Overrated

January 12, 2010 · 9 Comments

In a culture where most of us are over-committed, over-scheduled, and over-friended (at least in the virtual sense), I hear a great deal of talk about balance.  This emphasis on balance strikes me as important because it is an attempt to answer the charges that busy-ness makes against us.  That being said, here are some observations I’ve made about balance:

Balance is often an excuse to juggle even more things on our to-do list. I add a few moments of self-care or in order to “balance” out my ever-lengthening to-do list, but it only grows my list – it does not re-prioritize my list.

Balance is often an excuse to be lazy in our decision-making. It’s a through-the-back-door attempt at “having it all.”  It pulls us toward mediocrity in many things rather than expertise in one or two.

Balance implies that there is room for the not-so-good or even downright bad as long as there is an equalizing amount of good.  But why would we settle for even a little of what is not best?

David Whyte, the uber-successful poet and author, relates a personal story in his excellent book on work and vocation called Crossing the Unknown Sea.  In the story, Whyte is seated across from his spiritual director, his life aimless and in shambles, feeling the deep pain of emotional burnout.  “Brother,” Whyte began, “Tell me about exhaustion.”  His spiritual director looked at him with compassion and said, “You know that the antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest?”  Whyte was curious.  “What is it then?” he asked.  Whyte’s spiritual director looked him square in the eye and said, “The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness.”

“You are so tired,” continued the director, “because a good half of what you are doing has nothing to do with your true powers, or the place you have reached in your life.  You are only half here, and half here will kill you after a while. You need something to which you can give your full powers.”

In a hyperconnected, hyperdistracted world, the move toward balance is often just an attempt to answer the question that only wholeheartedness can actually resolve.  “Half here” cannot bring balance to the half that is “not here.”

Where is “a good half of you” missing that needs something to which you can give your “full powers” with laser-like focus and whole-hearted commitment?

(photo credit: Nicholas Rigg for ImageBank)

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